what if the reason nobody can tell fred and george apart is because they really are interchangeable
not in a ~it doesn’t matter~ way but like. molly and arthur used to worry that fred and george might turn out to be squibs because they weren’t doing any accidental magic as children, but they were, THEY TOTALLY WERE, it just wasn’t anything flashy, instead they were just like idly switching bodies all the time
and like sometimes it doesn’t make much of a difference, whatever, wake up in the opposite bed you went to sleep in, but it gets like dangerous and weird if you’re on a broom or in the pond or letting your mum teach you to cook or trying to be mad stealth, so for a long long time everybody presumes they’re clumsy maybe-squibs and that they’re doing their twin lying thing when they try to explain what’s going on, so they learn to handle the issue their ownselves
they just. don’t go anywhere without the other. they start each day deciding which body is going to be which (because at this point they really don’t know which body is technically fred and which is technically george), and they learn to reorient FAST when they switch, and what things set them off, and eventually they learn how to act like nothing’s up even when one of them’s in the air and one’s on the ground or whatever, and then they burn past that til they can finish each other’s sentences — til they can switch midsentence — til they can play beater together — til they can switch in a split second in the middle of a game — til there’s room for other kinds of accidental magic to start showing up
at hogwarts they keep each other awake in history of magic by switching back and forth. in potions they take turns brewing and keeping lookout for the slytherins. in transfiguration and charms they keep their grades up because one of them will always get a spell right on the first try so they switch and make it look like both of them do and then they practice on their own later in private. it keeps the mystery alive.
at first they thought lee was just a lucky guesser but no, lee can always tell one twin from another twin — it’s not exactly telling fred from george, because while they are definitely two distinct personalities neither one of them feels like fred all the time or george all the time — but lee knows who he argued with yesterday or who he lent his notes to or who’s best to ask for help in astronomy and who’s best at runes.
the weasleys are pretty bad at it for the longest time, but then bill comes home from his first year cursebreaking and he can tell, and over a holiday he teaches his trick to charlie so charlie can tell. alicia and katie and angelina can tell. the twins honestly don’t know if oliver can tell or not; so long as they’re doing what they’re supposed to on the quidditch pitch he doesn’t really care about much else. harry can tell. luna can tell. tonks can tell.
the problem is there’s no way for this to end happily
YES THERE IS
THERE IS INDEED A WAY FOR THIS TO END HAPPILY LISTEN UP
so after fred dies, george hates being trapped in one body, feels claustrophobic, misses fred so much he thinks it might drive him insane
but then one day
george blinks and he’s somewhere he wasn’t a second ago, he’s in a place full of white light and he can’t orient himself, can’t ground himself, feels dizzy and sick and overwhelmed but it only lasts for about thirty seconds.
then he’s back in his own body.
and he looks down at his chest, his legs, his arms, there’s an ear missing so it’s definitely still his living body, but there’s something written on his arm, scrawled in messy quill ink.
"i love you. i miss you."
george flips out, washes off the ink and immediately writes a message in reply— “how’s death going?”
he walks around with that message written on his arm for weeks, always keeping a quill pen somewhere nearby, waiting, waiting, before it finally happens again. the switch. george is alive, so he can’t handle being in the afterlife, he feels dizzy and sick and it’s the worst feeling in the world, but it doesn’t last long, and when he gets back to his living body, there’s a long message from fred waiting on his right thigh, the ink still drying.
this goes on for years, never as often as either twin would like, but it’s enough. fred helps george figure out how to propose to angelina, fred helps plan the wedding. sometimes it’s fred in george’s body when angelina kisses her husband. sometimes she suspects, but she doesn’t mind in the slightest.
it gets easier as george gets older. the times when he switches into fred’s afterlife don’t hurt as much. he almost feels comfortable there, almost feels oriented. he knows he’s getting closer to dying.
then when george is past ninety, lying on his deathbed, he writes a careful message on his palm. “i’m coming soon. where are you?”
they switch, it lasts for almost five minutes this time, and when george gets back into his own body, he sees the instructions fred wrote over his heart.
"you’ll wake up in king’s cross station. take the second train and get off at the third stop. i’ll be waiting."
Black ice can even be a problem in otherwise perfectly safe neighborhoods. New episodes returning Fall 2014 on Comedy Central The new Comedy Central app has …
THIS IS HILARIOUS. And seriously, after sitting through a bunch of law seminars by actual lawyers telling me how the police get away with ridiculous amts of crime, something I need.
What the hell was that? Srsly!!!! o.O
We’re thrilled to announce our 56th animated feature film, Moana! Renowned filmmakers Ron Clements & John Musker (The Little Mermaid, Aladdin) will direct the CG-animated comedy-adventure, coming to theatres late 2016.
|Me:||*is home alone*|
|Me:||MEGATRON HAS LEFT THE HOUSE. I, STARSCREAM NOW LEAD THE DECEPTICONS|
Facebook: “Oh I just went to the football game! Tailgated for hours!” tags a billion people
Tumblr: “oh god. ugh. there is snivel tissues everywhere. I am sick as a bee. speaking of bees, i just knocked ten bee nests off near my front door yesterday, after i wrote this 10 page goddamn essay. i am…. the beeest.”
" it’s just a joke, relax! "
" you’re all overreacting! "
this is someone’s fucking daughter.
if you think anything about this is ok because it’s ” just a joke ” you’re a seriously disgusting individual.
twitter normalizing pedophilia
Im gonna fucking throw up
thats a child….. she literally look 5
This is the most disgusting thing i seen in a while she look 5 how can u be attracted to and/or joke about doin bad things with her. How is this funny.
Not even 5. Try 3 or 4 y’all. THIS IS A BABY. This is not funny in any way. This is pedophilia. This little girl probably can’t even spell her name and she is being exploited for twitter “jokes”. THIS IS FUCKING SICK. If you’re active on twitter, please report this shit if you see it. This is unacceptable.
besides her being someone’s daughter, she is simply someone; a human being who should be respected.
But back on to the subject of her being someone’s daughter. Because it’s her parents who are far more likely to find this than her (considering she is so young). Imagine how they will now feel taking their young, innocent, little girl put anywhere. Their baby who they assume can just be a child when and as she wants to be. They have that ripped from them.
Suddenly they’re apprehensive about taking her to the park. Keep one parent home with her when the other goes shopping, when she used to go with them and pick out her cereal or maybe a treat. They’re up at the school doors or trying to come right to her classroom when before she could walk to the six foot from school to the car alone (assuming she’s 8 not 5). They won’t take as many photos of her now when before her favourite thing was to dress in her pretty dresses and pose for Mommy. They are protective, overly so, and eventually the little girl comes to wonder what she did wrong. Because she’s only young and this seems like a punishment.
This makes me so fucking sick and angry
when people tell me rape culture doesn’t exist and shit I’m like, ‘come on dudes lets not close our eyes to the real world’
Swimming crabs are characterized by the flattening of the fifth pair of legs into broad paddles, which are used for swimming. This ability, together with their strong, sharp claws, allows many species to be fast and aggressive predators.
This animal makes me just… so ridiculously happy
these little dudes are fast as fuck. you catch them by putting a weenie net on a very, very, long handle over the side of a bridge. And then you EAT THEM.
Now presenting, in its full, complete, and downloadable glory, the Racism and Middle Earth series! This six part guide to Tolkien and Racism collects relevant tidbits from Tolkien’s own writings (from the most familiar to the most obscure) in order to highlight what the most problematic and the most potential-ridden parts of Middle Earth are, and outlines how we, as fans, can make Middle Earth a better place for characters of all ethnicities.
Each chapter is summarized in the photos above. The series can be downloaded as a .pdf, .ibook, or text-only .pdf (warning: the text version is not pretty, and is missing some important maps, so use only as a last resort.) I’ve also got a list of articles, essays, and blog posts on the subject of Middle Earth and racism here, for anyone wanting to learn more, or just looking for a different perspective/take on the issue.
(For those who read the original blog posts, there have been a few changes to this final version - mainly additions made to Part I.)
"you wear that a lot" yes that is because i, a proud owner of a washing machine,
This is, in fact, the most important post on the internet.
Every male should be required to read this.
Every person on earth should read this.I see these period posts a lot, and every time I say, you need to seriously go see a doctor and stop causing girls to think its “normal,” as this usually indicates some sort of hormonal imbalance. Periods should not be a complete detriment in your life.
I have endometriosis. I went undiagnosed for a long time because people kept telling me my hardships were normal. It wasn’t until I went to the doctor wanting to get some sort of relief that I realized it’s not normal.
You shouldn’t be in so much pain you can’t go to class, or move. You shouldn’t be vomiting from the pain or nausea, you should not have diarrhea.
I mean shit I am on my period and it is honestly business as usual for me albeit lower back pains. I know people have varying experiences with periods but I have never met anyone with ones this bad where they DID NOT have a medical problem.
Oh wow, let me tell you a story. The first few years of periods, I never got cramps. I got an awkward catch in my stomach, and I leaked blood unknowingly for random periods of time because it was irregular to this day, but no pain. THEN
Then SUDDENLY, three years later, I was doing homework as usual and out of fucking nowhere someone punches me in the stomach! I’ve been punched before, so I would know. I topple sideways out of my chair, and cautiously get back up. “What the hell?” I think? “What was that?” After a few more minutes of steadily growing pain, in which my stomach is doing it’s best to be simultaneously nauseous and wrenching itself backwards into my trachea, I literally roll to the bathroom to examine myself.
"This is probably a girl thing," I think to myself, prodding my pale face experimentally. "It’s probably not cancer, or an ulcer, or some debilitating disease." Thus assured, I get back to work because while periods are seriously inconvenient, time stops for no one. But then! Suddenly, my spine jerks! The sudden pain of someone lassoing all my nerves in a cinch around my spine jerks my lunch into my mouth and I get up through the pain to vomit into the toilet. I stay there for awhile, trying to feel less incredibly nauseous! I start to think that there is no possible way that people can just live through this, and then I start to think I am dying. I am 16 here. I’ve been stressing over exams and whatnot and thought maybe I triggered some sort of brain spasm.
I am in a dorm, I can’t get to anyone because the new semester has started, so I call my RA and ask for painkillers or something. She is at a party. I lay in the fetal position for two hours, moaning and twisting into every position to try to calm that ridiculous piercing pain in my spine and uterus area, thinking I am actually dying. I have never felt this terrible in my life, including the time I popped my kneecap or fell off various buildings and trees or hurdled ten feet into the air from a poorly planned skateboard stunt. This is including the time I cracked my collarbone, and dragged a torn LCL and ACL around for two months before realizing I needed surgery. I am usually a very level headed and impossible to frighten person, and I was slowly starting to panic.
The logical course was to drag my ass to the health clinic, so I wouldn’t die alone, but I couldn’t walk. So I pretended I was in a zombie movie and I staggered out the door, down the stairs, out the door, and every step felt impossible, what with my ribs retreating into my spine. The pain was only getting worse. Several people tried to stop me, looking concerned as I was probably white-faced and sweating and looking the bad side of drunk. Being the independent person I was, I wanly swatted them away because I couldn’t even hear clearly at that point, wondering how in the world this much pain could be ok.
Much to my horror, I collapsed in the middle of a street. It was midday, class was in session, so the odds of someone finding me before I got run over was slim. I literally couldn’t get up. I vomited again, and dragged myself to the side of the grass, ten feet away from the health station.
I was almost going to cry. There’s nothing like random and sudden debilitating pain to put you in panic mode. I called my parents, trying to tell them something was wrong and I knew I probably wasn’t dying but I felt like it, and finally my RA found me edging around a pool of my vomit. I had survived in another country for an entire year with no problem, and I was actually about to panic over this. I had to give emergency first aid to people, give myself my own allergy shots, and I could not for the life of me muster the strength to get up. I had no idea what was going on.
Eventually, I called 911, and four hours later it faded with no pain like magic, and I was really extremely embarrassed. Since then, I’ve gotten used to the pain, and I make sure to take a probably dangerous amount of Advil beforehand so I simply lurch around when my uterus yanks instead of actually feeling the pain.
Four years later, the pain has faded a bit over time. I no longer have to stop and lay down for about four hours, but I do have to be careful about knowing if I feel nauseous or cramped and then trying not to throw up on people. Since my period is irregular still, it is always a surprise!
I’ve managed to tamp the symptoms down by eating a lot of molasses every month. Ok, story over. Point is: periods suck, and I cannot even fathom a reason for them. Worst thing is scrubbing blood out of the carpet all the time, and sleeping because you probably have to wash your sheets after to. Blood stains! Yeesh. I don’t even know how to describe it, besides extremely painful! I’m not interested in shoving it in people’s faces, but it really does suck! I’m glad my body patterns are weird and it probably won’t be as intense as it was for a long while. The end.
(It’s not a medical problem. Birth control only worked to the point it gave me some weird other symptoms. I just have really weird and irregular periods.)